The second part of my cancer story

Hey everyone!

Thank you so much for the support you have all been showing me since my last post where I posted the first half of my cancer story. I have been so overwhelmed with the messages that I've been receiving! An insane amount of people have been reading my previous posts, I can't actually believe it. I never, ever thought that this many people would be reading my blog posts so soon after me starting this whole blog! AMAZING. Lets carry on with the rest of my cancer story, shall we?

I had two bone marrow biopsies again, a biopsy of my tumour and my second hickman line fitted. They wanted to operate first before even starting any type of treatment but then decided that it would be too dangerous at this stage because of how close to the nerves that my tumour was. They were worried that if they went ahead with the operation, there was a very high possibility that they could cut through my nerves and I would lose the use of some or ALL of the use of my left arm.

I started chemotherapy again in the February but this time they were 2 different chemo's to when I had cancer the first time. In the March, I had a stem cell harvest to prepare me for the stem cell transplant that they wanted to do in the June. I had something called a Vascath put into a main vein in my groin which had a few different tubes attached to it so that the machine could do its magic by taking the blood, cells and then putting the blood back into my system all at the same time! I had to lye completely still for just over six hours and it was torture, haha! I'm sure you can imagine! My doctors wanted to collect three million cells but me being me went and collected 5.5 million cells! Insane.

In April 2014, I underwent an 11 hour operation to have my tumour removed, my first and second rib taken out as well as my left collar bone and all of the surrounding tissue. They kept me asleep until the next afternoon to make sure that I was stable enough to be breathing by myself etc. I have NEVER felt pain like I did when I woke up from the operation. It was horrific. I had a few of my friends visit & obviously my family were in to see me everyday and I probably speak on behalf of all of them when I say that I looked, and WAS so poorly at this point. I was hooked up to so many different machines and oxygen, a morphine pump and on so many different tablets to try and control the pain that I was in. Nothing worked. I wont go into too much detail for this part as a lot of it I don't remember where I was in intensive care and high dependency for most of the duration of my stay in hospital. To sum it up, I shocked my doctors, nurses and my team of Physiotherapists so much and I was out of hospital within 8 DAYS! WOOO. GO ME!

I had a few weeks break to start to recover then I went on to have a VERY high dose of chemotherapy which was to completely wipe out all of my blood & stem cells ready for my new stem cells to be put in. I started my stem cell transplant at the very beginning of June. The stem cells were kept frozen until this point and were unfrozen right at the last moment before being put into two huge syringes and put through my hickman line. Strangely, it hurt my jaw SO much and made me feel so awful to the point that I was being sick at the same time as trying to eat an ice lolly to try and help my jaw, wasn't a pretty sight, put it that way! Because I collected so many stem cells, they had to give me the cells over two days, not just the one as normal. In all, I was in hospital for six and a half weeks. I was SO, so so ill. I had horrific mucositis to the point that I couldn't even swallow my own saliva. I couldn't eat or drink for 5 weeks so I became so thin and weak. Again, I wont go into too much detail as I was just lying there, so ill watching TV for the whole stay but I wasn’t allowed the windows or any doors open and I was only allowed close family as visitors until around a week before I went home. I'm sure Laurah and Jess (two of my incredible friends who came to see me, Laurah coming from NEWCASTLE) can speak for themselves where I say that I was so ill. I know they've said that it was horrible to see me in the state that I was. To sum it up, I was SO ill. So so ill. I was allowed home a week before my 19th birthday, just in time! YAY.
In August 2014, I was told that I had beaten cancer for the second time. I was so so so happy, I can't even find the words to say how incredible it felt to be told that I had beaten cancer for the second time.
Since then I had been living my life how I wanted too, being happy and enjoying myself!
That was until 7 days before I was going to be in remission for one year when I was told that they had found another lump on my scan. As soon as I heard the words come from my consultants mouth, I knew what this meant. I was out with my 11 year old brother and my mum and I tried to keep as strong as I could. I had to leave where we were to go outside as my knees had gone weak and I felt faint. I have never been as scared as I was at this moment. Unfortunately, I have now been diagnosed with cancer for the third time. I don’t even know how to feel right now whilst going through treatment again. Scared, nervous, sick, all into one. I started chemotherapy on Monday (7^th September) and for that week I felt so so ill. So sick, weak & tired it’s unreal.
Unfortunately, my first round of chemotherapy put me in intensive care and high dependency too. I had nutrapenic sepsis from an infection with an extremely low blood pressure, very high heart rate and a temperature that was DANGEROUSLY high. My team of doctors at the hospital in Brighton, and my team in London were very scared about me having the same type of chemo again as they said that if I were to have it again, I could end up back in intensive care, but in a worse state than I was.

Although the dose of my chemo had already been halved before because of my kidneys struggling because of how much chemo that I've had in the past, they have lowered it for the second time in the hope that I wont end up back in hospital again.

I have just finished day 4 of my second round of chemotherapy and at the moment I'm not feeling too bad apart from the normal feeling sick & being so tired.

The doctors aren’t sure on what the outcome of having all of this chemotherapy is actually going to be, but what I do know is that I’m going to fight as hard as I can for my life. I am NOT giving up and cancer will NOT win.

I never thought I could adjust to this situation, but I have. I've become used (if that's what I have to call it) to this horrible way of life. To me, it's normal to go up to the hospital and see hairless children. It's normal to hear the words, "J, have you taken your medication today?” It’s normal that I have cancer. This disastrous situation has just become a part of my everyday life now. Although we hate change and we try to avoid it, we always adapt to change in the end no matter how much you hate what you're going through.

The experience as a whole has taught me many things. I've learnt that life is tough, no one can deny that. Some people have a bumpier ride than others, but sometimes we have to be grateful that we are here for the ride. I've learnt many of life's lessons that will stay with me forever.

I would always prefer to go through this myself, than watch my little sister & little brother, or any of my family & friends for that matter, have to go through something like this. And that's just the way it is.

Thank you so much for reading the second part of my cancer story. Its another emotional one like last week, I'm sorry! Oopsy. For next weeks post, I would like YOU guys to give me a topic that you want me to speak about. It can be any topic that you guys want me to speak about. Remember, this blog is to help you all! So either message me on Twitter, Facebook or even leave a comment below to let me know!

Until next time my lovelies,
So much love, always!
Jayde x